Tour | Review: GRAHAM by Natalie Decker + Excerpt + Giveaway

August 01, 2016, 0 Comments | Comentarios

I look about the room again, and my attention falls right back on Graham. He runs his hand through his brown hair, which appears disheveled. But Graham himself looks calm and a little frightening. I’m so caught up in staring at him, I forget to drop my gaze or hide behind my menu when his eyes travel the room.

When his gaze locks with mine, a warm swell of feelings bubbles through me. My face heats as his eyes narrow slightly. I need to break contact. A blond waitress stops at his table, and I watch as he flirts with the girl. Laughing and touching her hand.

I think I’m going to be sick. He hates me. He really hates me. This is just a game to get back at me for what I did. I know, because I’ve played this same game with all sorts of people who did me wrong. Let me correct myself: the old me did.

“Sarah, do you have an idea of what you might like?” my uncle asks, causing me to blink and exhale loudly.

I glance down at the menu and then back at my uncle Paul. He’s smiling as if he knows I want something that isn’t on the menu. Of course, this only makes my face heat more. “I … um …”

“Excuse me,” a deep voice breaks into our conversation. “Evening, Mr. and Mrs. Issac, may I have a word with Sarah?”

My uncle Paul nods. My auntie Heather smiles. “Hello, Graham. How have you been, hon?”

“I’ve been good.”

Auntie Heather waves me off. “Go on, dear.”

I glance up at Graham and push away from the table. He helps me out of my chair, which surprises me, but it also makes me melt. Just a little.

This isn’t good for me. I will not get caught up in the game. I will not fall harder for Graham than is necessary. I need to let these feelings I have for him go. Get some closure and be done.

He guides me out into the garden area, where blue and white flowers cascade around us and twinkly lights weave overhead. It makes me think of the perfect place to have a wedding. “It seems we’re going to keep running into each other,” Graham says in an irritated tone.

I flinch. “I suppose so. Wait, why? Aren’t you returning to school? Oh God, is your mom sick or something?”

Graham glares at me. “No, my mom is perfectly fine. I’m just not returning to school right now. I’ve got some things I have to take care of, which is none of your concern. Figured the decent thing to do was to warn you. So we might as well get used to this. Us seeing each other. We can pretend we don’t know one another. So I won’t say your name or hello. You can do the same.”

I drop my gaze to my feet and sigh. “Okay. If that’s what you want I understand.”

“Jesus, Sarah, you ripped my heart out and handed it back to me mangled. What did you expect here?”

I shake my head. “Nothing. I know what I did was wrong. Hurting you will be one of my many big regrets, but I can’t focus on that. So, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” I feel the hot sting of tears sliding down my face. I will not look Graham in the eye so he can see the effect he has on me. So I swipe my hands against my cheeks and pretend I’m just brushing my own hair out of my face. Then I head off to the restroom.

Trust me, I want to get a glance of his face the moment I confess that hurting him was a huge mistake. But I can’t. Doing so would leave me more open to his wounding words than ever. What if he said something cruel like, “Good, that’s what you get.” Believe me, I know it’s all on me, but to know that I’d ruined any shot with him forever? To confirm how much he hates me? It would probably kill me. What’s worse, I feel like he was the only one here who got closure. How the hell can I possibly move on while I feel like my heart was thrown in a blender and then served right back to me? Heart à la mode, anyone?